Indranee Rajah opens up about her mum’s recent death, singlehood on The Assembly

What keeps the Cabinet minister and Leader of the House going through the loss of all her immediate family, moments of loneliness and the heat of public life? The Assembly finds out.

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Dynn Othman

SINGAPORE: For nearly 20 years, it was just the two of them: Cabinet minister Indranee Rajah and her mother, Mavis, the last of their immediate family.

Her father, A T Rajah, a former deputy commissioner of police, had died from liver disease when she was five. Then in 1996, her older sister Kumarie, a translator based in France, succumbed to breast cancer at age 42.

“We were just getting ready to go to sleep … when the call came,” Indranee, 62, recalled on , a �鶹 programme in which neurodivergent interviewers engage public figures in unscripted conversation.

Eleven years later, her older brother Ananda, a sociology lecturer, died aged 54 of a heart attack.

“I’d just come back from court. I was back in the office when they tried calling me. And at first, I wasn’t able to take the call,” she recounted.

“But when I did, … I rushed down to the NUH (National University Hospital). But by that time, he had passed on.”

Indranee with the group from The Assembly.

And when she was hit by the loss of her mother in August, it was “just tough”. She said: “You can’t just sort of say, let’s get everything back to normal, and do everything exactly as it was before, straightaway.”

Yet, she is “coping okay”, comforted by her 102-year-old mother’s “very, very long life” and the “many, many good years” they had together.

This time she was able to be by her mother’s side, “right up until the very end”, she said. “That was important, both for her as well as for me.”

Grief takes time, she acknowledged, but what helps is to continue with everyday routines and allow painful reminders to turn into fond memories.

So, did she feel it was unfair to have lost her siblings when she did? “You don’t look on it as … fair or unfair,” she said. “You look at … the quality of the time that you had with them.”

Emily Yap, who is a nurse and has dyslexia, asking about Indranee’s mother.

Vincent Ng, 28, one of the programme’s participants with an autism spectrum disorder, wondered: “You’re now the only one left in your family. Do you feel lonely?”

Even as someone who, as she put it, “likes (her) own space” and values “alone time”, there are moments when the absence of family hits. “There’ll be occasions when I feel lonely,” she said.

Then I’ll just call some of my friends … (or) drop by and see my cousins.”

DID POLITICS GET IN THE WAY OF DATING?

There was much in the minister’s personal life that piqued the interest of The Assembly’s participants. Lee Wonjin, 15, who has autism, asked if she regretted not having children.

As she has never met the right person to settle down with and is not married, “then there’s no children in the equation”, Indranee said. “I’m sure it would’ve been (nice), but it just isn’t the case, right?”

WATCH: Indranee Rajah talks politics and dating with neurodiverse ‘journalists’ (26:36)

That response opened the door for the group to delve into her love life. “I see lots of people every day for all sorts of reasons. But no, not dating,” she said with a laugh. “I’m still single.”

Stephanie Fam, 40, who has cerebral palsy, chimed in to ask: “Do you ever feel that politics has robbed you of your dating life?”

Quite the contrary, politics has broadened her horizons, Indranee replied — giving her countless opportunities to meet people and do things.

She figured the reason she has not found someone to settle down with is that “things are just not meant to be”. It is a perspective shaped by experience, including past relationships that did not work out.

Stephanie Fam also wondered if Indranee had ever felt like a failure because of her singlehood.

“If you don’t have a relationship, you shouldn’t see that as something being wrong with you,” she told the group. “What’s most important is that you must be comfortable in your own skin, and you must be happy with who you are.”

That does not mean she skipped the soul-searching. “Many times, I’ve taken a hard look and said, ‘Okay, I’ve got to do this better’ or ‘I shouldn’t say this the next time’ or ‘I need to be nicer,’” she said.

Then came the inevitable question: What kind of guy would catch her eye?

“He’s got to have a sense of humour. He’s got to be a nice person,” she listed. “Most importantly, he has to have washboard abs.”

Jeremy Tay asking Indranee about what she would look for in a guy.

Following up on his question, Jeremy Tay, 31, who is neurodiverse, asked if she was picky. “I’d say that I’m not,” she grinned, “but I’m not sure whether other people might agree with that.”

Either way, she is not on the lookout — or thinking “what might have been”. “I’m not one of those who sort of looks back,” she said. “I’m more the sort of person who says, ‘Okay, this is what it is.’”

RESPONDING TO THE CRITICS

The conversation on The Assembly also touched on her political career and another question that intrigued Fam: Why has she never helmed a ministry?

Such decisions, said Indranee, rest with the prime minister and “where he thinks he can best deploy ministers”. Another way of looking at it, besides who heads a ministry, she suggested, is by the portfolios they hold.

And she has four. She serves in the Prime Minister’s Office, overseeing marriage and parenthood; she is second minister for national development and for finance; she also serves as Leader of the House.

Rainer Yow, who has Williams syndrome, a genetic disorder, asking about Indranee’s role as Leader of the House.

It is in that last role where she has come in for criticism when some netizens feel that she is not even-handed in managing parliamentary conduct.

Prithviraj Kumar Bas, who has autism, cited a clash between the then Non-Constituency Member of Parliament, Leong Mun Wai, and the then Speaker, Tan Chuan-Jin.

“Apparently, when (Leong) was out of line, you scolded him straightaway and reminded him of his place,” said the 27-year-old participant.

Indranee remembers it well — and the video clips that followed. “He said something that I thought wasn’t appropriate,” she replied, “so I had to get up very quickly, and I had to put my file on the side.

“If you look at the video, you’ll see that I actually spoke in a very even and measured tone. … It wasn’t as dramatic as some of the other edited versions.”

Prithviraj Kumar Basu, who goes by PJ, asking Indranee for her response to the online criticism.

She has also held her side of the House accountable, for example after Tan was heard calling Workers’ Party MP Jamus Lim a “f* populist” in 2023.

“I said that it wasn’t appropriate,” she noted. And she conveyed Tan’s apology when she addressed the matter in Parliament after his resignation.

“What’s very important is that anybody watching social media should be able to distinguish between what happens in reality and (what is) put out and edited or hyped up,” she added as she discussed the political impact of social media.

But dealing with critics or managing parliamentary conduct has not been the most difficult part of her job. That would be when a decision is made that affects people’s lives.

One instance is the closure of the Singapore Turf Club to make way for public housing. It meant the end of horse racing in Singapore after 182 years and the retrenchment of about 350 workers.

“It was tough for the horse trainers,” Indranee said. “(We had) to meet them and explain (the shutdown) and also understand their needs and concerns and try to address that.”

It was “not an easy process”, but she and her team worked hard to help those affected find new jobs or explore other opportunities.

For all the challenges, she remains grateful for the privilege of her job.

“If I weren’t in this job, I might not have been asked to do a programme like this, and I wouldn’t have gotten to meet all of you,” she said. “It’s a really, really precious and wonderful experience.”

Watch this episode of . Catch the rest of this �鶹 series at 9pm on Wednesdays.

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Indranee Rajah opens up about her mum’s recent death, singlehood on The Assembly