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Fresh into his first office job in France in 2024, Mr Ruzaini Mazani was all set to reply to a sales lead right away. However, his manager advised the opposite: play it cool and let the prospect wait. 

"I really couldn't wrap my head around it, but the Asian in me didn't want to ask why because I didn't want to be rude," the 37-year-old told �鶹 TODAY.

"With time, I realised that being the eager beaver really annoys the French people because they like to work at their own pace. That was the sort of culture shock I had for several months."

Such surprises come with the territory for Singaporeans navigating corporate life in Europe, even if they do not share these moments on their social media accounts alongside their picture-perfect studio apartments and the ski trips they take. 

�鶹 TODAY takes a look at the lives of Singaporean millennials who have moved to the region renowned for its work-life balance, and how they have adjusted to an unfamiliar work culture, grappled with loneliness and navigated safety concerns.

Former television host Sharon Au, for instance, famously recounted her experience when she relocated in 2018 to the French capital of Paris, where she was ticked off twice by human resource personnel for sending work messages outside office hours and not leaving the office by 6pm.

In an interview in 2019, the Singaporean also said that she had thought of dipping her toes into a cafe business but realised that the labour law in France was very strict about hiring and firing people and "disadvantageous … especially if you were a foreigner".

In 2020, she had to cope with the trauma after , which she shared with her pet cat. 

For some of the Singaporeans who spoke to �鶹 TODAY, just settling into a new job in Europe can be a headache at first.

Ms Magdalene Huang, for example, pursued her goal of working and living in Sweden after she spent a year in Stockholm as part of the NUS Overseas Colleges (NOC) programme.

After graduation, she relentlessly applied for jobs there while working in Singapore. It was during her stint at a FAANG company – one of the major American technology giants such as Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix or Google – that her resume finally caught the attention of a financial services firm.

Working for a globally recognised brand gave her the visibility she needed to break into the overseas market.

"Even though I spent four years pursuing this goal, I was undecided when I finally got the offer because the thought of leaving home was so painful. But if I didn't do it when I was 27, I would become even more afraid to do it in my 30s,” the 30-year-old recalled. 

After accepting the offer in October 2020, she spent the next four months preparing for the big move. As with most relocation packages, the firm hiring her sponsored her visa, moving expenses and one month's rent.

How employers handle this varies: some offer a lump sum, others reimburse you after the move.

If it is a reimbursement, you will need lots of savings.

Ms Luah Xiao Wen, a 30-year-old who has worked for a pharmaceutical firm in Copenhagen for two years now, said: "It's the norm across Denmark to pay three to six months' worth of rent upfront. So if you rented a S$5,000 apartment, you may need to pay up to S$30,000 in one sitting." 

Most employees are assigned an agent to help with house-hunting and typically choose a place near the office.

For Ms Atikah Amalina, a 34-year-old FAANG employee based in England, she had to weigh other factors as well.

"In Singapore, we don't really have a 'concept' of crime, but in London, it can get quite unsafe depending on the area where you live. Because I wear the hijab (headdress), that was a really important consideration for me," she said. 

After checking with friends who live in London about the neighbourhood she was eyeing, Ms Atikah signed the lease with peace of mind and moved there in 2022 with her two rescue cats, then aged one and two.  

"They make living alone a little less lonely, even though they are annoying sometimes."

After settling in, the expats began to see why Europe's work culture enjoys such a glowing reputation. For starters, the number of annual leave days could go up to 30.  

"When I was in Singapore, I had to calculate the number of days I could take and maximise them with the weekends. Here, I don't even have to think twice about taking time off," Ms Huang said.

"I use many of my leave days to go back to Singapore, which is ironic since I was always trying to get out of the country in the past."

Benefits for working parents are not too shabby either, with at least 16 months of paid parental leave to be shared between both parents in Sweden.

Ms Luah said that it is a Danish tradition for fathers to accompany their children on their first day of school. 

At Mr Ruzaini's former company in France, mothers could even opt for a "half-time" arrangement, halving their number of work hours for 80 per cent of their pay.

 It is not just companies that promote work-life balance; the law also protects it.

In France, it is illegal to work while on medical leave. In the United Kingdom, employees are legally entitled to request flexible work arrangements. 

Being able to start and end their workday earlier means that working parents can pick up their children from daycare or school and employees have time to slow down and recharge.

"I think that's what makes working in Sweden feel so 'breathable'. After I get home from work, I'm not drained. I still have the energy to cook and do other things," Ms Huang said.

As trust runs deep in workplace cultures, managers act more like peers than figures of authority, giving employees greater agency over their work.

Ms Atikah said: "I find working in London gives me more autonomy and empowerment to lead and own projects, compared to more hierarchical structures in Singapore.”

GROWING PAINS OF A NEW LIFE 

With that said, having more autonomy at work was not something they got used to instantly. The laissez-faire approach is a clear departure for those accustomed to structured environments in Singapore.

With greater freedom also comes the expectation to speak up, raise issues or problems and tackle them head-on, which can be daunting for those who shy away from confrontation. 

"In Singapore, you wait for your appraisal to make your points and maybe get someone else to back you up. But there was no such thing there," Mr Ruzaini said.

When he felt uncomfortable raising concerns about his job scope, he suffered in silence for two months until his manager eventually noticed and asked what was wrong.

Cultural differences can also hinder the exchange of feedback.

When working with her British counterparts, Ms Atikah sometimes struggles to gauge how her work is being received because their comments tend to be polite.

Similarly, Ms Luah observed that the encouraging work environment in Denmark – where people are generally pleasant – sometimes makes it harder to get constructive criticism.

Even Europe's celebrated employee welfare systems are not without their downsides.

In France, the emphasis on work-life balance contributes to longer tenures, which can slow career progression or make switching paths harder for younger professionals.

In Sweden, strong job security backed by legislation and unions means that performance issues are handled with extra caution.

"It makes corporate life less efficient, but it does protect people. So I'm a bit conflicted," Ms Huang said. 

"But I think I hold this view because I can return to a 'rich' country if I'm fired, which isn't the case for employees who may have to return to war-torn countries or places with fewer opportunities." 

Outside the office, the expats learned to navigate the trade-offs that come with a laid-back way of life.

When the elevator in Mr Ruzaini's apartment block broke down, older residents were cooped up at home for three weeks before repairs finally began.

In Denmark, where shops often close as early as 5pm, Ms Luah found herself missing the conveniences of Singapore such as the ease of grabbing a late-night bite.

"It's give and take. You want work-life balance, but so does everyone else," she said.

Living in Sweden for nearly four years has likewise deepened Ms Huang's appreciation for Singapore's healthcare systems. In part due to the long waits and language barrier, her visits to the doctor have left much to be desired.

"Most of the doctors cannot speak English and they just seem to prescribe paracetamol for everything. Sometimes, it is frustrating when I cannot get the help I need," she said. 

She added that in Sweden, commuting to work costs about five times more than in Singapore. The high cost of living, coupled with steep taxes and rent, can sometimes offset any pay bump that comes with a job offer in Europe. 

All things considered, Ms Huang admitted that she would have been better off financially in Singapore, with Central Provident Fund contributions and no rent to pay while living with her parents.

"At the end of the day, you have to remember why you chose to work abroad. If you are not ready to give up wealth accumulation, I would suggest staying put in Singapore because it is a place that supports financial growth," she advised.

Being far from family is also a lonely experience. When a loved one fell ill back home, Ms Atikah felt helpless, able to do little more than send care packages.

During Hari Raya this year, Mr Ruzaini came to the bittersweet realisation again that he had missed out on his sister's teenage years.

This sense of isolation can feel more pronounced in Scandinavia, where people tend to be reserved and the clear divide between work and personal life means that colleagues rarely become friends.

Long winters further dampen the desire to socialise and can trigger seasonal blues. During this time, even the simple routine of heading home after work serves as a stark reminder to Ms Huang that she is alone and far from home.

"In Singapore, there are people on the streets and it's noisy in a comforting way. When I go home here, it's sometimes silent and completely dark."

NOT THE SAME PERSON WHO LEFT

With so much downtime and so few connections, the expats were forced to reflect on who they are outside of work – something they rarely had to consider when life in Singapore revolved almost entirely around their jobs.

For Ms Luah, who worked such long hours previously in Singapore that her life was "pretty much planned" out for her, she had to think about what leisure means and how to fill her days with greater purpose. 

"Now I'm forced to think about how to spend my time. Should I doom-scroll on social media or do something constructive?

"I think it's very healthy for you to understand your relationship with the world and learn how you want to shape your life. It does help you to become someone with more agency." 

Living abroad also provided a professional reset. Ms Luah realised that the Asian mindset of crossing every "t" and dotting every "i" may not always pay off in the West.

Hard work goes hand in hand with opportunity, and honing soft skills such as networking is just as important. 

"It helped me to understand that there are many ways to reach your aspirations," she added. 

For some of the expats, their experiences have prompted a rethink of the Singaporean blueprint for success. 

By observing her colleagues, Ms Atikah began to discover other definitions of a life well-lived, such as raising children in a suburban home with a garden and trampoline, and spending weekends with them at the beach.

“There is more visibility of people choosing other ways of life here and that makes me realise there are different ways of being successful," she said.

For others, this shuffle in priorities can bring unexpected tension. Back in Singapore, Ms Huang always had her eyes set on the next promotion at work.

These days, her mind drifts to upcoming snowboarding trips and summer holidays, and she is still figuring out how to balance her drive to have a successful career with a slower pace of life.

"In school and at work, I used to try and outdo myself every year. Now I just chill with whatever comes and I don't know how to feel about that. Why do I feel like I'm being lazy?"

Naturally, the thought of readjusting to life in Singapore can be an unsettling one.

Mr Ruzaini believes that time away from the "rat race" has given him the self-awareness and confidence to chart his own course, rather than simply going with the flow.

However, four years into life in France, he admitted that it still did not quite feel like home.

"When the time comes, we will move back to Singapore in a heartbeat. It's still my homeland and I still want to retire and be buried there."

Ms Luah, on the other hand, sees herself returning if she becomes a parent one day, so that her children can be part of Singapore's school system, which she holds in high regard.

She credited its strong emphasis on bilingualism for opening doors in both her and her husband's careers. 

She also said that the education system has its merits despite being much-criticised for its over-emphasis on academic achievements and students having unhealthy and high levels of stress.

"Competition will always be there, but it gives you a sense of where you stand among your peers. If you can come to terms with what you are not good at early in life, you can move on to other options," she added.

For Ms Huang, fulfilling her dream of working in Sweden has led to deeper reflection, pondering questions that her younger self never considered, including the broader impact of her work.

"Sometimes, when I'm working, I wonder who I am serving. If I'm solving problems, I want to solve them for Singaporeans. If I have to pay taxes, I want them to go to my people," she said. 

Ultimately, she sees that there are two types of Singaporeans who move abroad: those who cannot wait to get out, and those who move because an opportunity arises and end up seeing Singapore in a new light.

 "I think the second group is where I lie. Seeing how Singaporeans are so lucky compared to people from different countries, I just feel grateful."